I hit the save button on yet another website sending the account of my educational and professional experiences into what seems like a cold, black void. Friends and family talk with reassuring words and tones telling me that I am a shoe-in and that I can get what I am seeking. I know that things can turn on a dime and that things happen when they are least expected. A watched pot never boils and all that muckity muck. How do I stop expecting what I want?

Everything is shifting for those around me. Marriages, houses, divorces, children, new jobs are all happening for everyone else. I feel like I hit some invisible barrier that keeps me from making that transition into real adulthood. If I just took a running start, maybe I could break through it. I just keep questioning all the decisions that have led me to this point of stuckness. Why did I leave New Mexico in the first place? Why did I take a dead end job in a one horse town? Why? Why? Why? I know there are reasons beyond my comprehension for all of these things, but right now, I could really use some comprehension.

Well, I guess I should do the work for the job I currently hold.

Love to all.