My weekend plans are currently at the mercy of a birth mother who can’t decide if she wants her baby to go to foster care or not. I am totally okay with whatever she decides. I guess I have my own ideas about what would be best for her baby, but I recognize that I have not yet been given much power in the universe and it’s probably for the best. I would just like to be able to plan. I’m not very spontaneous. Perhaps that is something I need to work on.

I was kind of spontaneous last night. This girl who works at the gym and also goes to my kickboxing class was at the front desk when I walked in. I had a negative incident with her a few weeks ago when I was trying to pay for my karate class and she didn’t believe that the class was for me and not my (nonexistent) child. Anyway, she’s there at the front desk and she looks at me and asks me if she should go. Here is the exchange:

“Go where?” I shot back.

“To kickboxing class.”

“Why are you asking me?”

“You’re going. I thought you would tell me.”

“Yeah, I’m going so what am I going to tell you, but to go yourself?”

“Oh.”

So then I went to the locker room to change from work clothes to play clothes and she came in to get ready as well. We were the only ones in the locker room so I decided to scare her. I came around a corner and yelled really loud and she jumped. She asked me what that was for and I told her that it was to motivate her. She thought it was pretty funny.

I also decided to be VERY clear with Miss Kitty’s husband who has given my name to yet another fellow inmate (this makes three) to write a letter to me. I woke up a 4 A.M. yesterday and could not get back to sleep because I was so pissed off at him. I have not shown any desire to write to either of the other guys he has had send me a letter. I think he just wants to help them because they are lonely and sad, but I just don’t care. Miss Kitty doesn’t quite understand my anger. I asked her why he doesn’t expect her to write to these guys and she didn’t have an answer. Maybe I am just cold hearted and mean, but I am okay with that.

I guess Miss Kitty’s coworker gave my phone number to an x-ray tech at the hospital and he’s supposed to call sometime for a date. I suppose it’s good that I really don’t care.

It has taken me several hours to finish this entry and now I know that the little mommy has decided to keep her young’un and I can go about my merry plans to bake a ton of cookies with my mommy this weekend. If you want cookies and I don’t have your address—you probably aren’t getting any. Yeah, you should be crying. I make really good cookies and so does my mom.

Love to all.