Well, so far, my allergies haven’t gotten the best of me. I’ve got the sneezing going on, but I fight back with the extra vitamin C and it seems to be working. So, I guess I can be gracious about the unseasonably warm weather for another day.

I had a talk with Miss Kitty last night about all kinds of stuff—love, men, sex, marriage, getting older, and how the past two years have changed her. We also talked about me becoming a drug rep. She said excitedly that I would be able to afford the house across the street. I quickly told her that even if I got on as a rep, I would want to go away from here. She looked sad. She said that she thought that I might want to stay in the area if I were making more money and meeting more people. I said no. I feel bad about it, but I just don’t want to give her any false hope about me sticking around.

I can’t figure it out, but for the past few days, I have felt like I am going to move back to New Mexico. The idea freaks me out a little because it doesn’t seem to be freaking me out very much (I know that this probably only made sense in my head, but guess what? My diary. It only really has to make sense to me.) I just get this feeling like I need to be in Albuquerque with my sister. I’m not sure if I need her or she will need me or what. I did have a weird dream about my sister and her new job as an elementary school librarian last night. In my dream, my father was somehow able to get her job taken away from her. It was so weird and my sister was so upset.

I can’t remember ever really trusting my father. I was hurt by him, yes, but maybe less so than my sister who did have all kinds of faith in him. When we were kids, I would often write letters telling him how unfair he was to her. I wanted to protect her. My father would write back and tell me that I should be a lawyer as I was so good at acting as her mouthpiece. If I had become a lawyer, things might have turned out very differently for him.

It’s weird how my sister tends to be a peace-at-any-cost kind of person and I tend to be a wave maker. I wish I could be more laid back about stuff, but perhaps it is just in my nature and I shouldn’t try to fight it.

Well, I guess that’s all I have for today.

Love to all.