Oh my God, I forgot to share a story that illustrates how my dorkiness has not changed all that much since high school. So let’s say that there’s this boy I was OBSESSED with all through high school. I wouldn’t say that I chased him per se, but I did do a lot of stupid stuff to get his attention. Stuff that I wouldn’t do now—I mean, I know better now. So let’s just say this boy’s name is Greg and he was about two years ahead of me in high school and lived up the street. He was shy and disarming with dark glossy brown hair and cerulean blue eyes. The first day of school, I would look for him in the crowds during class changes so I would know when I would run into him. I would always try to get a seat on the bus or a church near him. My first honest to goodness sex dream was about him.

The last two years of high school were not the same without him. I remember the last time I saw him. It was mid January during my freshman year of college and he was headed back to school in his black Chevy Blazer and I was walking home from the post office. He stopped in the middle of the street and talked to me for ten minutes. I remember wanting to get in that Blazer and ride away with him. A few years after that, my mom carefully broke the news to me that my Greg was getting married. She said that his mother was none too happy and did not like this girl one bit. I was a little sad that Greg was getting married to girl who was not me, but I guess I had given up the fantasy by that point.

Well, this little crush of mine was no secret. My mom knew, his mom knew, teachers knew, his grandparents knew, the woman I babysat for knew, the minister of our church knew—they all knew. It was embarrassing—probably for him too. Anyway, ever since I came home almost 5 years ago, I have been hearing tales about Greg and how his marriage was on the rocks. The woman I babysat for would always tell me when I ran into her “Jeannie, that Greg, he’s having marital problems. I heard they were going to break up. You should call him.” Of course, I knew better than that, but it still made the wheels turn in my head. Later I heard that he had reconciled with his wife and had a child. Later still, I heard that he was divorced and had custody of the child. Well, I guess the lady I used to baby-sit for ran into Greg, his son and his mother sometime recently. She told him how sorry she was to hear of his divorce and told him that he should have married that Jeannie (my last name here). She told my mom this story and said that Greg stared at her with wide eyes and his mother said “Yes, his whole family thinks that he should have married that Jeannie (my last name here).” Ah, the small town life. Well for what it’s worth, I think the crush burns on.

Love to all.